On the count of three, say what your favorite food is. Like Ryan Reynolds senpai once said, MAXIMUM EFFORT!.Oh, hello again, DEATH BATTLE! So, who's the lucky victim?.Hey, w-what, hey, hey, what's that? What're you doing!? No, you monsters! I won't go the way of Amazing Spider-Man!.Sucks to be a galactic lord! Pretty good for a Vancouver Canadian, right?.Oh, that whole debacle? Okay, so get this: You know the Grim Reaper, specter of death and all that? Well, turns out she's this sexy hot skeleton babe, and she totally digs the Deadpool, but our Facebook status is still on "It's complicated" because I'd have to die to be with her, and then Thanos shows up to try and take her for himself! He cursed me with immortality so I could never see my boo again, but he later took the curse back because he really wanted to kill me, but he can't, because then I'd win and he knows it.Wait, what're you talking about? What elephant?.Yeah, but they can be whatever you want them to be, baby.I spread 'em like Santa spreads Christmas joy. They're made of this nano-ceramic fiber, sharp enough to cut through Spidey's webs, and right through his franchise! (laughs) Grenades, shurikens, bolas and sais all that good Naruto stuff. To all my adoring fans out there, you know what I'm all about.I probably left it in the Savage land after my dinosaur rodeo.(Australian accent) And I even partner up with famous little Wolvie on occasion, (back to his normal voice) like when I worked with the. You know as well as I do that I'm kind of a big deal, and I've always lived that lit, fresh, mercenary life. Hold up hold up hold up! You just can't skip my amazing origin story like that! I have a movie now, so we have all this crispy new footage to use, (for educational purposes of course).*Dancing to the macarena* This is totally racist, Heyyy, chimichanga!.
*Imitating Deathstroke* And the moral of the story is.All the children in the audience, cover your eyes!.Whoa hold on! You heal fast too? I've got something special for that!" *Pulls out carbonadium sword* Carbonadium sword! Murdering all your pesky Wolverines and Saberteeth since 2012! Good year for cinema!.You are, pretty much responsible for a mass murder. Yeah you might want to lay low for a couple of days. Pop pop, watching Deathstroke-! *Sees a truck towards into him* God dammit-! *Gets hit* OH MY THIRD LUNG!.OW! OW! OW! MY OTHER LUNG! OW! OW! OW! *Gets impaled through the chest* MY SPLEEN! *Gets shot in the back of the head* MY LEG! *Hits a car* OH! IT'S CRAMPING.Splick splick, Dynamite! He's coming for me, watch the fight!.Oh you're kidding me! I'M PREDICTABLE?!.Oh, is it sword fight time?! Good thing I carry spares!.Look at me! LOOK AT ME! Do not slow down!.Where is that son of a gun, I'm gonna show him one for I swear- OOOH SHIT!.I gotta say, it's kind of an honor to get the snot beaten out of me by you of all people.Although I think more people would pin me as a Michelangelo, you know that's them labeling. A Donatello fan, huh?" *Pulls out Twin Katanas* "I was always more of a Leonardo guy myself.
BAMF! BAMF! Shoryuken! BAMF! Chect out this rad air!.
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